As a pediatrician, poo holds a very important place in my life. We talk about poo a lot - how many times? What color? Hard or soft? Formed or liquid? Any blood? Can I help you poo better? Let's try these medicines! Are you SURE you're not constipated?
And let's not forget my fascination with poo. It blows my mind. Think about it - no matter what you ingest - potato chips! beef stew! candy! pork rinds! anything! - your intestinal tract is so freakin' smart that it extracts whatever it needs and then is able to turn it all into the same substance - POO. It blows my mind! How fascinating is THAT?!?!
I suppose it's appropriate that, given my long-term fascination, I now live in a place where the health of your Poop Tank can be an important part of your life. No, I'm not using a euphemism for your colon. I actually mean a Poop Tank - some call it a sewer or a septic tank, but let's be honest here - it's a Poop Tank. Here's a photo of mine:
This photo was taken in warmer, happier times, when the average temperature was 40 degrees, and my poo was always happy and warm. (Yes, warm poo is happy poo.)
I suppose I should back up. There's no sewer system in Bethel (not so easy to engineer that in the tundra), and most houses are also not on public water. That means that you get your water delivered and your septic contents hauled - you can choose between twice weekly, weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly. I get water weekly, which means Wednesday is Water Day! It is very exciting - I do all my dishes and laundry and take a nice long shower right around Tuesday...Water Day is such a great day that there's even a local song about it called - you guessed it - Water Day.
This beast is my water tank:
This system works very well, except for one thing. It's sometimes...uh...shall we say...COLD here. (Who knew, right?) Some houses have their tanks inside, but most have their tanks outside and covered with foam insulation, like mine. I have a water pump that circulates water in and out of the house every 3 minutes and 54 seconds. It's really loud and sounds like a garage door opening every time, but you get used to it pretty quickly. Now, the Poop Tank is another problem. I'm sure you get where I'm going with this...
A few weeks ago, I woke up one fine Wednesday morning to this tag on my door:
My Poop Tank had frozen.
Turns out, I was supposed to have a Poop Tank Heater. Yes, a Poop Tank Heater. They exist.
After a few conversations with my property manager, we tracked down my missing Poop Tank Heater, and The Best Next Door Neighbors in the World helped thaw out my poo and got the water people to come suck it out of my Poop Tank. Here's a photo of my Poop Tank Heater:
It's heavy! Here's another one of it in action:
Now, apparently the trick is getting your poo warm but not too warm, especially on Water Day. Worst case scenario: your home will be flooded with what I like to call eau de poo. That would be bad.
I'm learning a lot here.
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ReplyDeleteSome people use harsh chemicals to clean toilets. Here, in our country, we get a product that costs INR 300 (ie; 6 USD) to get rid of septic tank smell. It is eco friendly. The product cleans waste completely within few days by using 6 packs initially. To keep the septic tank function the way it should, it is also recommended to use a single pack once in 3 months. As the product is natural, no other problems. It also clears blocks in drains. We use it in our home to treat septic tank and when drains are blocked,and whenever septic tank smelling start. The advantage is that we do not need to pump the waste from septic tank. I don't know whether they sell it internationally. If you can get this, you will find good results.
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