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| my rain boots, seen off the boardwalk |
It began innocently enough. I needed rain boots. There are no clothing stores in town, but the two main food stores both have a second floor that's kind of like a small department store. Unfortunately, it seems most Alaskans are quite a bit bigger than I am. The stores do not stock anything small enough for me-- not even in the kids department. No sweat-- I headed to the online Mecca of shoe-shopping-- Zappos. I bought a quite excellent pair of rubber rain boots that brought me joy, warmth, and dry feet.
That was the gateway purchase.
I got a little carried away one cold Saturday night, huddled with my computer next to a broken, rattling heater. A week later, I received four boxes at the post office containing seven sweaters, four pounds of tea, six containers of vanilla caramel latte cappuccino mix, and a kettle.
No big deal, I told myself. It was just a one-time thing. It wouldn't happen again.
I was good for awhile, but when I saw that a bag of dried mango was $22 at the grocery store, I slipped a little. (That was the week I caved and spent $10 on a half-gallon of orange juice.) I googled dried mango and came across Nuts.com, a website that sells snack foods and other riches. Before long, the ER, the clinics, inpatient, and OB all knew where I was working in a given day based on the concentration of Nuts.com bags scattered throughout each department.
I started looking for websites that offer free shipping to Alaskan PO boxes (difficult-to-fulfill requirements). I began to frequent Kohls (free shipping on all orders over $75!), Sierra Trading Post (free shipping during select sales!), and Amazon (free shipping on orders over $25 if labelled as eligible for Free Super Saver Shipping...and you can sort your searches by this!). I always had an open order. I began to buy nonperishable groceries in bulk. I refused to admit I had a problem. "It's just Bethel," I'd say. "This is how you do things here." It's normal to go to the post office to pick up your tissues, your soap, your new Tupperware, your new small appliances, your coffee, your batteries, your beef jerky, your extension cord, your toilet paper...right?
My friend Susan was an enabler. She asked me to make a fudge cake one night, but I told her it would have to wait, as I was out of Baker's chocolate. "Don't worry," I told her. "I'll have chocolate coming in next week at the post office."
Her reply should have been a clue there was something wrong. "Is it bad that that sentence made complete sense to me?" she said. "I have to stop by the post office tomorrow; my salsa and crackers are waiting."
Last month, I hit rock bottom. I received a medium-sized box labelled Heavy - Handle with Care. Very excited at what new riches were in store, I high-tailed it home and clawed it open.
Yes, folks, your eyes don't deceive you. That is 8 pounds of graham crackers-- 27 sleeves, to be exact. Apparently I thought I needed graham crackers.
Are there support groups for this kind of thing?
